Hello friends. By friends here, I refer to the guys, not because I plan to date every other girl who ends up on my blog, but more because I know either she'd be committed, or, she'll 'not be looking for a serious relationship right now'(such a giveaway, though).
Anyway, so I'm turning 20 on 22nd of November, and that would complete my 20 years of singledom. Yo. I know, you’re starting to feel a little sad for me na? Well, in that case you can click that little cross on the top left of your browser window and leave. Oh, you're checking? It's always on the right, dumb-ass. Seriously, if you checked, you probably don't deserve to read ahead anyway.
So where was I again? Yeah. I've been single for 20 years. Or as my sweet friends put it, FOREVER. Don't judge my friends, just because they talk like this?! They totally dig people who don't have girlfriends(s). Even some times out of their graves, make them feel so bad about not having a girlfriend, that they ask my friends (Salil Shahane and Kuchi Prashant. Names changed, obviously. Who would have names like these anyway?) to make one for them(not some project, but a girlfriend!), and pass on to the single dead guys(shit happens). Sadly enough, I happen to have too much dignity to have tried this no matter how many times my friends offered 'help'.
So I did some research, as to how to get back at my people who never stopped mocking me. Friends, it turns out that The 'No-Girlfriend-Joke-Market' is actually worth $1.2 million, considering how many texts my friend send to mock me about it and how many times I text girls so that they never think of dating me. It’s not an easy job, you'd think. But it is. I wouldn't even mind giving references here, and believe you me, I can name them. Just that they might regret it, so I won't bother.
The sad part is, when I started writing this, one of these 2 friends had been in a relationship for over 3 years (thus, we liked to consider that he was married) but then, dumping happened.
Which is never good, I'm made to believe. Like I've said about relationships a million times already in first 2 years of college, 'HOW WOULD I KNOW?!’.
I've been told this too, as my friends talked about this, and I jump in to give an honest opinion about how they've lost their lives in these relationships, I'm told that "You wouldn't know."
One thing I've noticed (obviously not experienced) is that, when a guy is/has been in a relationship, he tends to drink a lot. Or maybe it's just one of my friends who liked 'Teachers' so much that he ended up in a hospital one fine day, the doctor saving his ass from it becoming a legal case. Or the other one(who was single, though he has had ONE COMPLETE girlfriend, and thus rightly considers himself to be Greek God of some kind), after bravely emptying a quarter of Old Monk into his stomach, in the scorching heat of Delhi, CP to be precise, was left half unconscious and puking at the INA Metro station (till we followed Lara Dutta to Delhi Haat. #TrueStory). My friends may not be proud of the above incidents, but no matter how hard they try, they can't forget them.
Hell, I won't let them.
Hell, I won't let them.
So, I guess this should be it. I'll continue writing about not just singledom, though I ensure I WILL continue to be single, but also about football, and drumming, lessons for which I've taken up finally!
Also, I feel that facebook is very 2005. So If you ever get over it(I hope you're not on Orkut now at least, for fuck's sake), come follow me on Twitter.
Also, don't worry if you notice that I've tagged my article with many different irrelevant stuff. It's just so that people looking for these may come to my blog instead. Because I'm smart like that.
Ciao!
